Dealing with Anxiety on My First Big Motorcycle Trip

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Welcome to Thoughts from the Road. Here’s John Coulthard’s inspirational column on dealing with anxiety, getting back into biking and going on his first big trip. If you’ve always wanted to get out there, but haven’t taken the jump yet – read this…

John Coulthard Motorcycle Travel

Thoughts From the Road is a corner on Mad or Nomad for motorcycle travellers to share short columns from their experiences travelling the world. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments and join the discussion.

Picture of By John Coulthard

By John Coulthard

I got back into motorcycling after 10 years away because I moved to the country and bought a house with a garage. I now had somewhere to keep a bike. In the intervening years I got a pilot’s licence and had lots of adventures doing that, but it got to the point where the challenge to cost ratio wasn’t working out. I had done a lot with it and was paying a fortune to do something I had done before. I needed a new challenge and the chance to have a bike again seemed to fit perfectly.

I got back into bikes and before long made the big decision to go on a solo ride to Europe. It’s opened my eyes to this beautiful world of motorcycle travel and I’m already planning my next bike adventure!

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Dealing with Anxiety, Getting Back into Motorcycles and Going on My First Big Solo Trip

Back to biking

After ten years away from biking I came back to it two years ago. At 49 I was mindful of middle-aged guys coming back to biking and buying something too powerful and becoming a statistic, so I was very cautious. I had a lesson to re-familiarise myself and the instructor said I could still ride and should just get out and buy a bike.

At the time, I liked the modern classics and was taken by the Royal Enfield Classic 350. I bought one and it was great, but after eight months I realised that I wanted something with a bit more poke and a bit more comfort so that I could go on camping trips in Scotland. I bought a Honda NC750, which while not the most exciting of bikes, I really enjoyed it. I took it on a couple of camping trips to the Isle of Arran and absolutely loved it. Inspired by the trips of others, I finally decided that I need to take on a longer journey by myself.

The big trip

I booked a ticket from Portsmouth to Bilbao and a return from Le Havre to Portsmouth. I had six nights on the continent and planned to ride around 180 miles a day. Two months before I set off, I upgraded my bike again to a new Honda Transalp.

It was so comfortable! I fitted it out with soft panniers and a roll top duffle. I rushed to get the first 600 miles in and had the first service just before leaving.

I set off from Carlisle and on the first night stayed with friends in Knutsford rather than tackle the 365 miles to Portsmouth in one go as I felt this was a bit much for me.

I have struggled with anxiety and self-belief all my life and the day I left for Portsmouth I was seriously apprehensive. But after two nights on the ship, I arrived in Spain (in rush hour Bilbao) and had no choice but to go for it. I set a rule on this trip: no motorways and only back roads. For my first night I had planned a route down to the Bardenas Reales desert.

Going for it

I arrived at 3pm and set off on the 31km gravel route around the badlands. It was just stunning. I was out there alone in the sort of landscapes I’d always wanted to visit. At the end of the day, I stayed in a castle on a winery and oh those glasses of wine tasted so good as I watched the sunset.

I spent a night in a tiny village on the edge of the Pyrenees, a night in Andorra then three nights making my way up through beautiful French villages and meeting wonderful people along the way. A highlight was when a gang of around 50 bikes passed me in the opposite direction and every single one of them gave me the continental two-finger salute. I rode on laughing to myself at how wonderful the biker community is.

Madame Gondree

For my last day, I spent time in Normandy and visited Pegasus Bridge. This was the first point taken on D-Day by glider troops. The first house liberated in France is here
– Cafe Gondree. I called in for a coffee and sandwich and Madame Arlette Gondree was sitting out the back in her kitchen. She was four years old when her home was liberated. I ordered my food from the girl serving and when I went to pay, she said they didn’t take cards.

I asked where the nearest cash machine was, and she told me that by the time I got to one she would be closed. Mme Gondree looked up and said in perfect English, “you can pay me next time.” I explained this may be a year or two and so I couldn’t accept. She said, “you will take this food young man and enjoy it from me.” After l’d eaten I took the tray back and thanked her again and she said, “you are welcome, we will meet again” and smiled. It was a lovely end to my time in France. 

That night I took the boat home and got talking to a couple of other bikers, one of which lived locally to me. They were travelling up north and we rode together for a while before they peeled off for another night away. I carried on alone and rode the full length of England in the pissing rain, but with the biggest smile on my face.

Dealing with anxiety

Two weeks ago, this trip would have been unimaginable to me. I know it might be an easy thing for some readers and it may sound silly, but for me it was a big thing and I felt very proud at completing my 2,101-mile trip. Knowing what anxiety can be like, things like this can be a serious challenge, but there’s nothing better on this earth for me than conquering my own fears and pushing myself a little further.

When I think about the trip, it’s not so much the biking itself like the twisty roads that I think of, it’s the people I met. Being able to sit for a couple of hours and talk with a stranger about his anxiety problems was a better feeling than just chucking a bike about. But the motorcycle was a tool in which I could accomplish that and get to those places to meet those people. There’s a real beauty to motorcycle travel and the experiences it gives you…

Keep going…

I went away looking for an adventure, wonderful scenery and good food and I got that in spades but the best thing about this jaunt was the people – the warm welcomes, the kindness and the amazing generosity of strangers.
This trip has really given me a lot of self-belief and the confidence to do more. Next year I’m 50 and with a couple of friends we’re throwing around ideas like the Himalayas or Morocco. I’ll be much less anxious on those trips because I’ll be with friends who have experience in those places.

But at the same time, I want to do another solo trip too. Maybe the Alps? Who knows, but what I do know is that I have the confidence to do it now.

John Coulthard

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9 thoughts on “Dealing with Anxiety on My First Big Motorcycle Trip”

  3. Thanks for your story John, This resonates with me a lot, I’m a biker in my 50s and I suffer from anxiety (just can’t shake it). Too many doubts cross my mind taking a plunge on a solo trip like: what if I break down, I don’t know anything about bike repairs, I can’t speak the lingo, what if I lose phone signal, lose my passport etc. I am not very outgoing to hard to take the leap. Sounds pitiful compared to the world adventures the good folks on here have done, and I tell myself over and over “stop being a baby!” …. but well it’s a hard mindset to shake

    Reply

    • Ah mate I absolutely feel for you. It’s not pitiful at all. Don’t compare yourselves to the boys and girls out there touring the world. Just fight your own fight. Anxiety is a sod to deal with but my attitude is that I can not let it win. I can not let it dictate what I do with my life. Yes all your concerns are valid about breakdowns etc but there are steps you can take to minimise any disruption – good breakdown cover, a can of TireWeld in your panniers to get you to a garage in the event of a puncture etc etc.

      Quite seriously, if I can go out and do this then you can too mate. You will be scared, you’ll think “wtf have I done this for?” but at the end of it you’ll be so proud of yourself and want to do more. On the back of doing my trip I’m doing a solo road trip in Utah this year. Two years ago this would be unimaginable. And here we are. Unless we take that first step we’ll get nowhere.

      You can do it mate and I’d love you to get in touch or even hear of you doing your first trip on here.

      Reply

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